honey bunches of taint.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
