So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
