everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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