I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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