I'm sorry my penis didn't work
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
