I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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