doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
