I'm gonna have a badass scar
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Still dying that you shit outside
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
