i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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