dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
