Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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