Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Vodka?
Forever.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
