everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
