I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
