all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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