fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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