Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
