I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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