I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's get the cat blown out
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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