Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
