if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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