a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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