I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You need a sexual gate keeper
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
