she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
