I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
