I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
