he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
