If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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