your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is wine microwaveable?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
