So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You smell like stripper and shame
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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