He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What a dumb baby whore.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
