I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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