Where is the hickey?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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