i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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