What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
