you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
