just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
