I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You've changed since you got that strap on
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
