also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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