Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
