He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Pants are for mortals
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
