he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
