So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
