Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
