apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
