i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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