my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Found the puke drawer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
