I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
