I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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