I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
