im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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